Letter to the Dark Lord
by Lord Sykox Charr
Summary: Harry takes his revenge on wizarding world in a way that is bloody and below-belt blow but his hands are totally clean for he doesn't even touch anybody...just uses his brilliant slythrin min


Title : Letter to Dark Lord  
Auther : Sykox  
Disclimer : Just for Greater Good... no actual harm done or money earned.

All over British Wizarding World, Owls delivered a special Phophet edition.  
People were shocked to read the title "Letter to Dark Lord from Harry Potter"  
Here is the content of that letter :

Greetings Lord Voldemort,  
(Scion to House of Grunts and Morvalo's Grandson)  
(I am serious with you here, Otherwise I'd like to Quote our old Dumbly-Dorkey here... as he loves to call you "Tommy Boy...")  
Now, getting down to business, I'd like to inform you that you can fuck "light" side and rest of Wizarding world as you like and I have no interest in fighting you just to save their sorry hides and clean up mess...  
(Dimple-Dotty believes that I am in Detention and it is my duty to clean up his cauldron after he messed up the potion...eh?)

No Doubt, You will be shocked!?... Well if you have first hand experiment of getting Oblivated a few time and be subjected to loyalty charms and love potions, You will understand what I mean...

Now...You will say "Join Me..." Well there is a problem, Though I don't care what happens to rest of world,  
I can't refuse fact that You Killed my parents. As you know that Wizarding History better then me,  
You'll Know that Family Honour is above anything and Potter is... after all Most Ancient and Noble House... Damn...that even complicates things more

We will settle our score...but not now, First you enjoy butchering sheeps as I should say... There is pleanty of time later.  
And yes of course There is The Prophesy (Thruth be told I came to know its exsistance only now,...fuck the contents, You at least knew half of it.)  
Here is the full prophesy...help yourself :

(

Content of Prophesy Here...

)  
Now do you seriously think this is true? Sylbil Trelweni... a know faker with unsually high record of predicting death  
(looks like she fooled you too)... Now that the legibility of Prophesy itself is in question  
I dont think that Our Dumbly-Dorky-Dort will ever make an Unbreakable Oath(publicly) or confess under Verseticerum...  
Given old coot and his Greater Good.. well...  
But what I am shocked is that you brought it and jumped to its word...  
and that too on whose word... Sinevellus. Do you know where that son-of-bitch's loyalty lie?  
He may parrot "my lord..my lord" but I suggest you put three drops of strongest truth potion into his mouth  
and then ask him who he serves? and in whose best interest does he work? Hate to admit but Bella was right about him... that fucker.

Well... they pranked and fooled you nicely(though you are heir of slythrin) and now because of it we both are screwed up.  
You made me equal by marking you out and then killed my parents so I too am left with no other option except to take you on.  
However I am in no hurry...  
Ok Lord Voldemort let us make a deal... let us take our sweet time now but later...  
make our Duel So Legendary that it will never be forgotten and always spoken in awe.  
It should be compared to that mighty duel of Hactor and Achilies at Troy.

I think that son-of-whore "Wormtail" is under protection of house grunt and Slytherin and you of course...  
You are a Dark lord and if you appreciate what I am doing right now then ...

Now that we have cleared up our little misunderstanding, Why not celebrate  
with a glass of firewisky eh?... wait I should say Odgen's Best  
is more appropriate right now... Cheers !

Well then wanna some fun? Shall I suggest a few "light" family and how to fuck them ? : sodomy..anal..doggy style etc...  
Lets start with Bones :  
Formidable opponent... Not only she is pain in ass for you but also for Dumbly-Dorky too.  
( Now I guessfor me too after this letter is published). If you take her out  
then even Dumple-Dink will celebrate and may have frenzied round with that goat of his Brother.  
Guck... I just threw up...  
My... But what an lady... On genuinely serious note She is the only one who has earned my true Respect...  
However nothing more then that. Just because you are Good or "Light" doesn't make you best...  
She... Head of DLME... did ever knew where I lived?  
well well our ickly bonny lady tooo believed that The Sun shown out of Dumbledore's ass.  
So now Party time & Pay time...

Now dark lord, Why do you dirty yourself by taking out frustration on muggles...?  
There are Weasels present always, whole clan of them... Do you know they breed like Gnomes?  
Well these blood traitors aren't much cleaner then muggles and smell too...  
Even a poorest of muggle know how to clean themselves and wipe their ass after shit...  
my..my They are present everywhere and you don't even have to go out yourself...  
Send low level latchkeys they'll do... Though keep bella"Demented"trix to overseer and add her final touch...  
Caution.. Much of recently emptied Potter Trust Vault has gone deep up their ass and you may find upgraded wards.  
if Dumbly-Didkins is with them then more trouble...  
Aren't garden pests like Gnome troublesome...well...

now then Dumby's Bird Club : kingsley,moody,moony,jones,weasels,tosksie and Dedalus Diggle (the name only suggest what kinda guy he is...) xeno love-good(toogoodtolovetheirownass)  
And finally here is very big secret :  
(I implore you my lord please share this with only those whom you trust and burn it afterwards...)

"Headquarters of Order of Phoenix can be found at Number 12, Grimound Place."

(Doesn't Sound familiar... ask Bella and mother-fucker of Malfoy, bet they'd trip themselves in their hurry to tell you where it is...)

Bye... Have Fun...  
Harry Potter

(P.S : our wands are brother...share same core..feather of that Demented bird of fwakes  
we both have to change or get new if we gotta duel...though yud like to know before hand)

...

Chapter One Complete... story doesnt stop here but I will upload only when I get  
and if some mighty heavy weight want to take it over from me or guide me... I be more happy ans i am just a newbie to Amzing world of fanfiction

cheers  
Sykox


End file.
